폭력은 총과 칼, 주먹에서 시작되는 것이 아니다. 폭력은 자신과 다른 사람들을 적절하게 이해하고 연결할 수 없는 데서 시작된다. 가부장적 문화에서 자라난 남성들에게, 그들 자신의 감정에 대한 복잡한 내적 작동을 이해하고 다른 사람들의 욕구와 연결되는 것에 대한 무능은 남성들이 그들에게 놓여진 많은 폭력적인 사회적 역할을 대비하는 데 필요한 필수적인 사회 교육이다. 가정폭력, 학교폭력, 경찰의 잔혹성, 전쟁은 폭력이 갈등에 관여하는 남성적인 방법이라는 것을 남성들이 학습한 결과이다. 평화를 세우려는 사람들은 우리가 남성다움의 일반적 행위로 받아들이는 것에 물음을 제기함으로써 가부장적 폭력의 순환을 끝내는 여정을 시작할 수 있다. 진정한 남자가 되기 위해서는 무엇을 고려해야 하는가?, 그리고 우리 주변의 세상과 그것에 대해 어떻게 소통할 것인가? 남성들에게, 우리가 저항을 용인하고 이 패턴을 바꾸기 위해 필요한 취약점을 받아들일 의지가 있는지 우리 스스로에게 물어야만 한다. Violence does not begin with guns, knives, or fists; violence begins with the inability to adequately understand and connect with one’s self and others. For men raised in patriarchal cultures, this inability to understand the intricate inner working of their own emotions and connect with the needs of other people is an essential social education needed to prepare men for the many violent social roles placed upon them. Domestic abuse, school violence, police brutality, and war are the result of men learning that violence is a masculine way to engage in conflict. Peacebuilders can begin the journey to end cycles of patriarchal violence by interrogating what we accept as normal performances of masculinity. What do we consider a real man to be and how do we communicate that to the world around us? For men, we must ask ourselves whether we’re willing to tolerate the resistance and accept the vulnerability needed to change this pattern. 원문 발췌:"Every day on our television screens and in our nation’s newspapers we are brought news of continued male violence at home and all around the world. When we hear that teenage boys are arming themselves and killing their parents, their peers, or strangers, a sense of alarm permeates our culture. Folks want to have answers. They want to know, Why is this happening? Why so much killing by boy children now, and in this historical moment? Yet no one talks about the role patriarchal notions of manhood play in teaching boys that it is their nature to kill, then teaching them that they can do nothing to change this nature—nothing, that is, that will leave their masculinity intact. As our culture prepares males to embrace war, they must be all the more indoctrinated into patriarchal thinking that tells them that it is their nature to kill and to enjoy killing. Bombarded by news about male violence, we hear no news about men and love."
